Hole In The Heart RK

Written by: Carl Rice Jr


Written By: Carl Rice Jr

People in pain will look anywhere and everywhere for relief.  People in pain will do all sorts of things.  Some will turn to alcohol, others to drugs, sex, gambling, and work, all in an effort to hide from life.  Guess what?  The pain often gets better for a short period of time but the pain comes back and when it does, all of those efforts to escape the pain have only made things worse.

Let me give you an idea of what I’ m talking about.  A son or daughter is deployed to war.  Loved ones have various opinions about them going.  The parents are proud of their child and the child wants to serve their country.  It’s Sunday morning and the parents are getting ready for church.  The sun is shining through the window and the sound of birds chirping fills the home.  For a moment the parents calmly listen, then there is a knock at the door.  Military personnel inform them that their child has died in battleShock, denial and confusion fill the parents’ souls.  What they don’t realize is the pain has just begun!

Then there are the thousands of children who die every day from starvation, and treatable health issues.  Even though various resources from around the world care for children and people give their time and money, it’s not nearly enough.  So every day children lie in their mothers arms; their bones stretching through their skin.  As they give one last glance into their mothers’ eyes and take their last breath of life. 

The world is filled with millions of people that continuously overeat and waste food.  Millionaires and billionaires have several homes, several vehicles, and expensive material items.  Government’s waste billions of dollars on programs that don’t work.  While thousands of children continue to die every day from starvation and treatable health issues.  The question is why do people have more than they need while children needlessly die!  The answer is people pretend they do enough.  Then plug their ears, to avoid hearing the painful cries of a grieving Mother.

‘Man that is loud!’  I see a car racing down an alley. On the sidewalk lay three young boys, dead.  Bullets flew from the racing car without warning.  The shooters screamed as if they had shot their first deer.  A father inside an apartment near the shooting yells.  His four-year-old daughter lay dead on her bed; one of the shooters’ bullets struck her in the head.  Blood flows like a river from her lifeless body. 

The parents of the three young boys who died don’t know it yet, the father of the four-year-old girl doesn’t know yet, but pain, shock, denial, confusion, anger and depression will engulf their souls. 

Violence like this and other forms of violence happen way too much.  The resulting pain brings on mountains of emotion and many questions. Some parents will eventually move on with God, some will stumble into various ways to ruin their life, and other parents will lie down and die! 

My parents think of my car accident, and their thoughts run wild.  They think of me being alive at the accident, alone and in terrible pain.  My parents’ thoughts have created many false beliefs. Satan loves confusing their thoughts with anything that might take their focus off from God.  Parents who had a child die have experienced these painful thoughts themselves. Thoughts that produce feelings of being responsible for your child dying, or thinking you could have done something to prevent your child from dying.  

The truth is parents, no matter how your child died; God has a time for us to be born and a time for us to die!  This day and time cannot change.

There are times parents encounter pain from people who mean well.  These people will say, “You must be proud of your child” or “Your child was special.”  Even though these people mean well, sometimes when parents hear about their child, they are overwhelmed with the pain of wanting them back.    

After a few months, parents will hear people say, “You look like you’re doing well.”  Or months and years later parents will still get mail addressed to their child who has died.  Someone will see my parents in a store and say, “How is Ryan?”  A family member or friend will ask, “Are you going out tonight?”  When the answer is no, they will say, “Don’t you think its time to move on?”  Times like this cause many parents to feel like a knife has been stabbed into their heart. 

My parents and other parents encounter ignorant comments way too often.  I will not bog you down with a long list but I will give you one example.  An acquaintance of my Dad’s said, “I know how you feel, my dog just died.”  It took my Dad off guard but later he wanted to physically rip the man apart.  After my Dad shared this with my Mom they said, “What the hell is wrong with people?  How can anyone compare the death of a dog to Ryan dying?”  People who never had a child die act like they know what is best.  Even though most people are trying to help they often create pain with their words and don’t even know it.  No parent can completely understand the pain of other parents.  Only other parents who had a child die can come close to understanding